Of Gods and MenOf Gods and Men is an award winning French film by Xavier Beauvois.  Whilst exploring the issues of men beyond 50 was probably not the director’s aim, it actually provides a lot of deep, moving perspectives on this topic, which will speak to your heart and soul.  See it if you can.

The film’s focus is a community of eight French Christian monks and their monastery on the edge of a poor rural village in Algeria.  There is real friendship, mutual support and shared poverty between the monks and their Muslim neighbours, and we see how all their lives are deeply shaken by the fierce conflict between the Government and Islamist terrorists.

The terrorist threat is deadly and uncertain.  At one point, the Islamists invade the monastery, but this time they are seeking medical help for their wounded.  The eight monks are all men, with an age range from the 50s through the 60s into the 80s.  We see them as a set of individuals, and as a group, living with the daily threat of a violent death.  This makes them question their faith, the purpose of being there, and whether martyrdom would have any point.  We see them finding courage and faith in huge uncertainty, staying centred through essentials like companionship and being of service in a terrifying situation.  And how the daily tasks like cooking and gardening can help to steady and heal us when the problems feel overwhelming.

The Atlas Mountains

The Atlas Mountains in Algeria where the film is set

This is also a brilliant film about leadership.  The monks do not have a chief imposed on them: they have elected Christian as their leader, and we see him grow before our eyes.  Early on, he takes an important hasty decision alone, and is gently told at a round table meeting, “We didn’t elect you to take decisions without us.”  When the terrorists burst in, guns in hands, it is Christian who comes out alone to face their leader.  The young terrorist is angry, in a hurry, bullying, yet Christian faces him down, and they retreat, even apologising for disturbing the day of Christmas.  We sense that Christian’s faith, poverty, integrity, and his sheer presence as an elder with these qualities, can overcome the gunmen. 

Atlas MountainsDon’t kid yourself that a handful of monks in North Africa are marginal to your life.  This film brings out so many core questions for older men with piercing clarity: What is the point of my life, now?  In a crisis, can I base my choices on some value higher than ego and survival?  Where’s the balance between my self and my community?  It also has beautiful teaching on the issues of leadership in a men’s group: we see the monks gently but forcibly reshaping their leader so that he stops dictating and starts including them.

This is also a rich and thought-provoking film about different faiths, different communities, and how they relate.  The monks and their Muslim neighbours are all living simple, subsistence lives: they are companions, they help each other, and even take part in each other’s devotions.  We can see them as two branches of the local community, and when the monks consider leaving, the local villagers treat them like family, urging them to stay. 

Like that other genius film about the Algerian conflict, The Battle for Algiers, this film refuses to cast blame or simplify a complex and contradictory situation.  Of Gods and Men has a rhythm running through the film of the monks’ daily prayers, which to me suggests that in all the confusion of life, we may need to keep coming back to prayer, surrender and faith in the face of the huge unknown.

 

The weekend of November 11 – 13 at Hazel Hill Wood was a big occasion for me: the first weekend workshop, in fact the first open event of any kind, for the Men Beyond 50 project.  After 13 months of working on faith that men beyond 50 are a valid category, a group who really do have shared needs and challenges, the theory was going to be tested.

The weekend was fully booked, and we had a group of 19 men ranging from age 49 to 77.  Quite a lot of us had some experience of men’s group, some current, some many years back.  But many of us commented that it felt new, different, quite special, to be in a gathering specifically for men over 50.

No words can fully convey the deep emotions, the rich sense of companionship, the interplay between men of this age and a wood in its golden Autumn glory, but I’m going to try, because I hope that this event will encourage many more men beyond 50 to gather and explore how they can learn, heal, grow and have fun with each other.

Continue reading »

 
Canal St Martin

Canal St Martin

Travel is a great way to stretch, grow and get new reflections on your life. I’d like to share my adventures from a recent weekend in Paris. One of the sweet-bitter features of being an older man is how many decades your memories go back for. Is it interesting or old-fartish to tell you that I first came to Paris in 1963, when they had those cool buses with the balcony on the back? I’ve had lots of fine visits since then, including half-term breaks when my kids were teenagers, and romantic weekends with new partners when I was in my fifties, but looking for that young-love vibe.

I feel very fortunate, as a man beyond 50, to have a couple of friendships with younger men in their twenties and thirties. Such an age gap can be tricky, but it can be illuminating. This trip to Paris is novel, as I’m here with Oli, who’s thirty years my junior, and was a college friend of my daughter. Oli has lived in the city, and still has mates here, so our trip is partly to share each other’s Paris.

Continue reading »

 

Nov 11-13 2011

Guest posting by Ger Murphy 

Campfire

Campfire scene from a previous men’s group at Hazel Hill

The weather and the season was just right: warm, bright though wan sunshine in an autumnal atmosphere of falling leaves and mulch underfoot. This weekend workshop brought together 19 men over the age of 50 to explore if there were specific issues, support or directions which this age and gender group might valuably consider.

The weekend offered a variety of structures facilitated by Alan Heeks, Max Mackay-James and Robert Osborn.  The purpose was giving men the opportunity to reflect on their lives as they come to the so-called “third age” and to question what may help men make this time a productive and vibrant one for them.

Continue reading »

 

It is our Maturing Men: making sense of life past 50 workshop this weekend, and I am very much looking forward to travelling to Hazel Hill Wood on Friday afternoon. Some 20 men are coming for the weekend and we are fully booked, which tells me there is some good interest in it. There is also the odd butterfly flapping in my tummy. Who will I meet? What will I find when I get there?

The nerves are about the unknown. It is our first menbeyond50 event and first workshop for me working together with Alan and Robert. So the nerves are understandable. But mostly there is an excitement about going into the unknown.

About a year ago I was in another workshop with a small group of men and at one point talked about my hopes and wishes for the next 12 months. Mostly these hopes and wishes were unformed, but during the weekend I began to have a strong feeling, which coalesced around a single sentence; “Help, I can’t do this alone!”.

What did I do feeling alone and in need of help, as it were on a desert island? I did what men often do when they are alone on desert islands, I wrote a message in a bottle and chucked it out to sea. Continue reading »

 

How to navigate the web for good health information and advice?

Whether it is searching for information on a serious illness, healthy lifestyle advice, or simply to find out more about a specific symptom, the web is a wonderful source of reliable and trustworthy information. It is also a place where fools, sirens and charlatans peddle fictitious medical cures and dangerous health advice. This can make the shipwreck experience of an illness much worse, cost us a lot of wasted time and money, and can even seriously damage our health!

My strong advice is always to use a health Gateway Site* as our first port of call. A good Gateway Site will often have all the answers to our questions in one place. Rather than putting the symptom or illness name into our Google search, always go to a health Gateway first.

(* Gateway Sites (or Internet Gateways) are freely available web-sites that provide links to online resources which have been selected and evaluated by specialists and are designed to provide information in a form which we can all understand.)

However, be warned, not all Gateways are the same! Some are NOT trustworthy. Others are badly designed and impenetrable. In order to have confidence the information is accessable, reliable and trustworthy, the best health Gateways are kitemarked:

Health on the Net Foundation provides this HON Code Certification. Always look for this sign on any health Gateway home page!

Which are the best health Gateway sites?

In the UK the National Health Service provides an enormous amount of very good quality amount online information sources. However, the oceans of NHS information are so vast it is not always easy to find what one is looking for. Here are some helpful pointers:
NHS Choices : information on over 800 conditions including many serious illnesses.
NHS Direct : health advice dealing mainly with everyday symptoms.
NHS Live Well : for healthy lifestyle information and advice (very high quality and research based).

If we want to find all the above in one place, my recommended first choice is Patient.co.uk .  This site does everything a really good health Gateway site should; the advice is trustworthy and reliable, and it is easy to find and understand the information being provided.

Another high quality ‘Gateway Sites’ is the US Government’s Healthfinder , which provides access to health information from a range of reliable sources and has links to other online databases. For a complete list of all the health information databases which are available worldwide, including non-English sites, go to OMNI ; the ‘Organising Medical Networked Information’ research project based at the University of Nottingham lists them all! Sadly this research project has recently lost its funding so it will not now be being updated, but the existing online information should remain helpful for some time.

You need look no further – Happy Searching!

(image created by jscreationzs)

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